In my free time I knit sweaters, and by knit I mean kick, and by sweaters I mean babies.

yeah you know how you like someone and you really dont want to tell them but you do anyways, and everytime you just hate yourself for even hinting or saying it because you believe that it was better off when they didnt know.
they say that you only want what you cant get. well i think that its a lie. under the right cercum stances you can get anything or anyone you want. but it hase to be under the right circumstances. yeah i get rejected and then i say to myself why do i even try. well i guess its the whole thing of "hey! atleast i tried" but sometimes i relly hate myself over that because then i cant look at them the same and sometimes neather can they. recently i liked someone but i think that it was the way that they looked and the same massacistic(sp) ways(enjoys pain likes the taste of blood ect.) yeah in other words kinky shit. well i really feel stupid she thinks that if i really got to know her that i wouldnt like her in that way naymore....doubtful. im attracted to personality more than looks.
but hey atleast i tried...yeah sometimes that isnt even enough. yeah it makes me want to be emotionaly dead.
but one thing that i hate i've helped out so many with there problems about their relationships and other things pertaining to relations. and yet i cant even get a date or find anyone.
dont feel pitty or anything. because just like before i can live with out it. but there will always be that emptyness in  me.

*nick*