In my free time I knit sweaters, and by knit I mean kick, and by sweaters I mean babies.

there is something in me that is gone, missing, lost but never had. I've had this feeling for sometime now and i really kinda hate it. It's a feeling of hate and remorse, it's the feeling of love and compassion, a feeling of lonelyness and loe which has been lost. thats really the only way that i can explane how i feel right now. my mind is amiss and my heart is missing. people say i have a good personality sometimes i dont see it expsecialy when i see a friend going for the samething and i get jeolus of them for obtaining it and i cant even get close to it. i feel hate for seeing something that i disspise in someone. i feel remorse for seeing people in trouble and i cant even lift a finger to help. i feel compassion when i see those eyes of which i have been able to help. i feel love for when isee some one that i can feel this way to. i feel lonely when i cant even be with them. but most of all i feel dead. and i feel death gazing into my soul and in want of it lusting after my own demise into which i will fall and give up.

my mind is fucked for least of a better term in which i will use.
my heart  is a miss  for it feels like it isnt there at all.
my eyes are tainted with the obsinitys of the world
my soul is tainted with the sins of my own doings and the doings of man himself.

i am completly and utterly alone in the dark of this filty world and there seems to be no light to shine down and to help me find my way out.

*nick*

I am alone.