In my free time I knit sweaters, and by knit I mean kick, and by sweaters I mean babies.

Does anyone find it odd that when you first meet someone and talk to them you get a small portion of their personality and you either like it or you think that it's horse shit. Well, I have talked to this one girl for a while now and I thought she had the worst personality ever, but now that I have actually spent some time talking to her its gotten a lot better. I just find it weird among other things.

End.

    They say that the fool lashes out his tongue in vulgarity, while the wise man will hold his. Call me a fool I don't care. I'm just so pissed off, among other things. I fell asleep over at Alli's house while watching a movie. We were both tired because we had stayed up passed three yesterday morning and we both had to get to work early in the morning. I left her house to go home but then I remembered I needed to stop by the great store called Wall-Mart, Oh hurrah! On my trek to Wall-Marx I had come across a vast amount of blind people. I assume that they are all blind because they don't know how to drive or use turn signals. I finally make it to Satan-Mart in one piece, although I blew my piece right out the window. I have one item in mind and one alone, Milk, no not milk plus for those perks of ultra-violence. I am waiting in line to purchase this white substance that has been excreted from a bovine. I waded though the copious amounts of individuals who have lost their identities and have become a consumer. These consumers went through the "20 items or less" line with a years worth of groceries with rations for a nuclear winter added in for good measures.

    I'm going to tell you something about myself that I hate to admit. I suffer from paranoia. I get to the verge of having a panic attack when I am around large groups of people by myself. I absolutely hate that feeling. there is nothing pleasant about it.

I want to continue this entry with something that I have come to realize in the past few days, but I don't want to because it wont change a damn thing in my life. I hate being alone and one person I have found to be wonderful and there is no one on the face of this earth who is remotely close to her. I must say,

End.

    I am alone. No matter how good i feel one day, the next I always feel like crap. I feel alone even if I am surrounded by friends. I feel as if I have neglected some of my closest friends because of my own stupidity. I don't want to feel this way. I figure the reason that I feel this way is that all of my closest friends leave and go somewhere else. They come back for a week or so and then they leave to either college or on some venture. I think that it's weird that for someone who doesn't really enjoy human contact that I get attached so easily. Why can't I just erase emotions away and plant new ones in their stead. If I could I would just become some happy-go-lucky zombie living day by day with a sunny disposition. I don't know what is wrong with me. I do love all of my friends, but sometimes I don't think that they know that. I fell bad for blowing them off sometimes. I pretty sure that Phyll doesn't believe me sometimes when I say that I don't have a vehicle. I hate the fact that I don't have a vehicle during the day to go out with friends for lunch. I guess I just hate it all.

End.

A bipolar song.

Love me cancerously
Like a salt-sore soaked in the sea.
'High-maintenance' means
You're a gluttonous queen
Narcissistic and mean.
Kill me romantically
Fill my soul with vomit
Then ask me for a piece of gum.
Bitter and dumb
You're my sugarplum.
You're awful, I love you!

CHORUS
She moves through moonbeams slowly
She knows just how to hold me
And when her edges soften
Her body is my coffin
I know she drains me slowly
She wears me down to bones in bed

Must be the sign on my head
That says, oh...
Love me dead! Love me dead!

You're a faith-healer on T.V.
You're an office park without any trees
Corporate and cold
Gushing for gold
Leave me alone.
You suck so passionately
You're a parasitic, psycho, filthy creature
finger-bangin' my heart
You call me up drunk
Does the fun ever start?
You're hideous and sexy!

REPEAT CHORUS

Must be the sign on my head
That says, oh...
Love me dead! Love me dead!

SOLO

Love me cancerously
Brrrot-dot-da-d-da-da!
How's your new boy?
Does he know about me?
You've got the mark of the beast.
You're born of a jackal! You're beautiful!

REPEAT CHORUS

Wha' 'bout that sign on my head
That says, oh...
Love me dead!

End.

    When I got into work today the E.R. was pretty bad. This families relative died because it took so long for him to be seen. There was another patient that was there that had been waiting before the man who had died, before 6pm, and had waited until 8pm. That sucks to wait that long. Just feeling bad for those people wasn't enough for my day oh no. Three kids came bouncing in the E.R. they had been in a fight. One of them who was seeking medical help had a broken nose and knuckles. This kid didn't seem to bright. I walked out of the E.R. to do my rounds when I had gotten called back into the E.R. because of a disruption. No surprise there. The kid seeking the help was being belligerent. The other guard and myself  got the troop of kids outside to talk about what happened. We got the kid to calm down until the cops showed up. One of the officers kept egging him on about fighting. I kind of wanted them to fight because I knew it would have been a good laugh to see that kid get thrown to the ground. The kid shortly bounced after that.
    Then to make my day much more wonderful I get called into the back of the E.R. I was thinking "Oh snapppp a stand-by." Nope! Denis wanted me to take a patient who was being discharged from the hospital across the street to the Hotel where they are staying. I told him that I cannot do that. He told me that I can and I will. I told him that I am not losing my job because he wants me to take someone across the street. I can't go off campus anyways. Then I left. He gave me this sick look later and I just smiled.

    Last night I was with Deana, Alli, and Dillon. We went to Wendy's to get something to eat and then we drove up to C hill where we ate. There were these kids there who laughed constantly. We all thought it was annoying. So we found some metal and blared it. They started to leave so we left. We followed them for about 20 minutes. I don't think that they were laughing after that, but we were. BUWAHAHAHA!

End.