It is done. I am Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the end.

I forgot about this place.... sorry.



End.

I'm still exhausted from last night.

So it starts with waking up at five in the morning and working my ass off to get things done so I wont have to come in this weekend. That worked out real well, after I'm done here I still have to go in to work. I got home a little after four. Took a shower got ready then I went to see if the flower shop was still open. Of course it wasn't. Then I went of to Brigette's house. about 30 minutes after we went for a drive all over Carlsbad til a little after seven. We were going to the carnival that was in town.

We got there and our first ride was the Gravitron. This ride spins and pushes you against the seat and the seat rises up. The next was the Zipper and possibly the one ride I will never go on again. You're in a cage and your're being banged around. After the Zipper we went on the Tornado. This ride spins around and you pull a disk in the centre to spin the seats around. This on made me feel sick because I skiped dinner. After that one we left to get something to drink down at drifters. We went back and I still wasn't feeling to good.  We went on the tornado again with Tyler. then we went to the hurrican. The ride was obnoxious if you were the one on the end. What it does is spins around really fast and in the end it goes up and down a few times. I got slammed up against the side of the car and there is no padding on the seat so it felt like my hip was going to pop out of place. The we went on the hurrican with tasha and her boyfriend. Then we went to the spider which is easy it has arms that has two cabs each the cabs spin atound on the arms as the ride is at a 45 degree angle.  Soon after we went on the Tilt-A-Whirl. It's just a heavey ended car that spins around on a track. it's an easy ride to go on. Well that did it from my stomach. I trew up as soon as I got off. I didn't revel in it like normal people do. I just walked away. I had to sit out on the next few. Brigette went on the Hammer. You're in an enclosed car and it spins slowly but when you go up and when you come down the cab spins so that you are never upiside down in it. She hated that one. The next one that she went on was like the Gravitron but the whole ride goes sideways. Then we went on the Ferris wheel, of course. After that She went on the hurrican again and now she knows my pain. After that she wanted to do the spider agian this time it was different because I was the one on the outside. She felt ill after that. I took her back home where we talked until 2am. I still had a great time.

I just woke up to help my dad with moving a car into the shop. It's still to early and still have to get to work.

Last night was horrible. I rented two movies and one of them made me remember the feelings I had when I was with Brigette. I couldn't watch the rest of it so I put in another just to try and keep my mind off of things. It didn't work very well. So I decided to sleep. I thought I could sleep and forget her face for a night. While I was laying there all of these memories flooded into my head. They were so vivid and I could remember every detail as if I was there again. This just made me sad so I called up phyll and spent the night over at his place because I couldn't sleep in my room.

To be honest I'd take her back if she asked me.

End. 

I remember the first time I had a girlfriend. I thought that it was going to be her and I all the way. Then she cheated on me. Then three years later I found someone that was interested in me, that loves me. I was so happy for those three months that we had been together. I thought that it would have lasted forever. So many memories that I wouldn't give up for anything. Sure she had a kid, but I saw passed that for once. I saw passed everything and saw what was in her heart. I gave her something that I can't ever get back, but I still want her to keep it and remember it. Our love was like the brightest burning star, but the brighter it burns the less life it will have.

I just pray that she will be happy with paul that she will never be depressed and that she will love him more that she has loved anyone else in this God forsaken world. I am happy for you.

Just one more thing. Pray for me please that i become what I once was when I met you and when I was with you.

I never thought that it would be this hard. and now i am afriad that I will never be so comfortable as I was with you. That no one will accept me as you did.

good night to whom I adore.

End.

Before all of this I have loved my close friends, yes, some more than others. Since I have been with you I stopped caring about all of them. Sure, I still love them and I try my hardest to find time for them even though when I am with them I only think of you. I love them as my brothers and sisters, because I love you more over all of them. I just want you to know that, because my love for you cannot be measured nor can I find the words to tell you how much I love you and what you mean to me.

This blog started out as something that I used to vent my frustrations and anger, it still is. I am frustrated with my mother and myself. This morning when I was taking her to work  she kept telling me to do the plan of salvation to you. I want to so badly but I don't know how you will react. I am frustrated with myself because of this.

One of the ways that she wanted me to tell you the plan of salvation is the way of the master. Which I am going to tell you all who read this.

Are you a good person? (general answer is yes)
Have you ever lied?
What does that make you?
A liar.
Have you ever stole anything?
What does that make you?
A thief.
In the bible it says that anyone who look upon another person in lust is an adulterer.
Have you ever looked upon anyone in lust?

So all in all you are a lying thieving adulterer and the wages of sin is death and eternal damnation in hell.
There is a way to get by all of this and that is through Jesus Christ. You must admit that you are a sinner in need of God. You must believe that Jesus died and rose again for your sins. And Confess that Jesus is lord and savor of your life.

I love you most of all and what if there is something else after death. I want to spend all of eternity with you because I love you most of all, Brigette. I love our time that we have spent together and will spend together.
I know that church makes you uncomfortable but in your time I will wait for you to make that choice to come with me to church.

I love you.